Who Lit the Blue Touch Paper?

When I need a lighter were you there? Dramatic photographic evidence of Pope Francis at the dawn of Creation 

The Vatican has today released stunning photography of the moment of the Big Bang, a theory expounded by irreligious and religious folk alike to offer an explanation of the origins of the Universe. Catholic commentators, taken somewhat aback by the papal endorsement of the Big Bang and evolutionary theories are today looking over one of the most controversial photographs released by the Vatican in Church history.

The stunning image shows the reigning Supreme Pontiff present at the moment of the huge explosion, the precise date of which is awfully difficult for historians to pin down. Some have been asking whether the image shows the Vicar of Christ actually doing the lighting of the blue touch paper, but the Vatican has assured Catholics through spokesperson Fr Frederico Lombardi, that it is clear there is no lighter in Pope Francis's hand, therefore, "while it cannot be ruled out that Pope Francis lit the blue touch paper, it cannot be said that he did."

Asked whether the image contradicts the teaching of Francis's predecessors, Fr Frederico Lombardi explained that the photograph should simply be enough to silence Francis's critics in the wake of his ringing endorsement of the Big Bang Theory, who said such things as, "How on earth do you know? Were you there or something?" Fr Lombardi said speculation to that effect can now be put to rest.

"Evolution of doctrine? Credo! Just show me the money!"

Meanwhile, some Catholic commentators are suggesting that Papal endorsement of the Big Bang and Evolution have huge implications for the Catholic Faith because of the effect that these philosophical positions have on those at the top of the Church.

"For example", said one commentator, "it is clear that the violent and explosive nature of the Big Bang theory could be used to justify such actions as the production of a mid-Synod relatio that simply exploded out of nowhere into the World's media despite not reflecting effectively the real views expressed at the gathering of Bishops and Cardinals. Isn't that what happened? The relatio just seemed to explode violently and without warning? What did it leave? Total and utter chaos? I don't believe His Holiness was present at the dawn of Creation but I do believe it is possible he lit the blue touch paper for the Synod. Perhaps His Holiness can bring Order out of the Chaos in the Church, but this contrasts with the Genesis account of Creation which suggests the Lord spoke everything into being. Before the Fall at least, when all in the Universe is suggested to be in total harmony with the Creator, there is no need for a Catholic to believe that God required any chaos or explosion at all. No explosion was necessary for Jesus Christ to be risen from the Dead or for the Word to become flesh in the womb of the Blessed Virgin. I could go on, but let's leave it there."

When I needed some sunglasses were you there?: An artists impression of the Heavenly Jerusalem, evolving from, er...well...okay, 'coming down' from God as a bride adorned for her husband.  

Other commentators have noted how convenient it would be for a Pope to believe and teach others to believe the theory of evolution. "It's so obvious isn't it? If species evolve and humans have evolved and/or are still evolving, doctrine can evolve as well, can't it? If through time and history, mankind is progressing onwards to a higher state of being, from bacteria, to fish, to mammals to humans and our evolution as a species is not yet complete, then it can be argued by the person who does not really accept the Divinity of Christ, that doctrine, even Dominical doctrine, is imperfect until it is adapted or evolves in line with a human race destined for a higher state of consciousness by virtue of the evolutionary principle. Call me paranoid if you want but it is all rather convenient for the reformers, isn't it?

Yes. The Big Bang and Evolution. We shouldn't be surprised the Holy Father is into these two things. His pontificate is marked heavily by a persistent belief in both. Oh and while we're on the subject of evolution, Christ's promise to return at His Glorious Second Coming is promised to involve some kind of 're-creation' of the cosmos.

Will that re-creation be with a bang, will that involve evolution, or will God simply speak it into being? When the Heavenly City comes down from Heaven that will be evolution, will it? Just asking. At the Resurrection the long-since decomposed will rise again in the flesh. Will that be in an 'evolutionary way'? Or will the Lord just command it and it shall happen? Just asking. Surely all of us, the Pope included, should be preparing ourselves for that Day, when even the sea shall give up its dead because on that Great Day, everything will be made new. Indeed, we can say with His Holiness, "Don't be afraid of newness!"