Diocese of Arundel and Brighton Caves in to 'Traditional Forces'

On loan for Festival 50: This baroque High Altar is to be the borrowed for Ad Orientem worship at the 'Golden Jubilee.' The move has widely been reported as a conciliatory gesture towards traditional Catholics in the region.

Stung by recent criticism over Festival 50, the Diocese of Arundel and Brighton have agreed to an sumptuous, gilded High Altar to be winched into the AMEX stadium for Sung Pontifical High Mass with Archbishop Peter Smith.

A spokesperson for the Diocese said, "It is a costly exercise, hiring fifteen helicopters to move this French baroque masterpiece on loan from a Parisian Church which cannot be named, but after recent reflection, we felt the Diocese had also to cater for the traditional Catholic community residing in the region."

The first helicopter arrives off the Sussex coast

Residents of Sussex and Surrey were divided in their opinion over the High Altar with several voicing dismay that the High Altar, "is not quite baroque enough", while others welcomed the news with impromptu Te Deums and Marian antiphons sung in Latin.

One Catholic resident of Brighton and Hove said, "This really is a wonderful day for the Diocese and goes to show the level of respect Arundel and Brighton has for those who prefer the Extraordinary Form of the Mass for the worship of Almighty God. We thank those who have organised the event for considering the beauty of Catholic worship and for considering the Glory of God in their plans for the Brighton and Hove Albion football club-based liturgical extravaganza. This makes up, in some measure, for years of disastrous catechism and poor liturgical direction coming from those in authority in the Diocese."

Quite how the liturgical masterpiece will fit in with the Paul Inwood Mass setting (unlike the rest of this post, this is no joke, apparently!) for Festival 50, however, has not yet been discussed by the Diocese of Arundel and Brighton. It can only be a complete co-incidence that Paul Inwood's wife is Diocesan Liturgy Advisor here in Arundel and Brighton. Catholics in the region are hoping that the Diocese can 'pull back from the brink' on the music commissioned and replace it with the relevant Chant for the Mass of the day in the traditional calendar. While welcoming the High Altar, many traditional Catholics are upset that Paul Inwood's "music" is said to be "here to stay".